The abortions had occurred when I was not a Christian so I never gave it much thought. But when I had given my life to Christ, I realized how grave my actions were. Born or unborn, it was a life like mine I had taken.

I had confessed this sin to God and asked for forgiveness. I buried the matter and moved on with my life. Then I got married. After the first year and I did not take in, my mind went back to the abortions. Probably the last one destroyed my womb, I thought. Or maybe God was finally punishing me for my sins. I began to meditate on such thoughts, which filled me with depression and guilt. Every month when Aunty Flo visited, I heard the tormenting voice say, “You’ve killed all the children you could ever have. They will not allow you have other children!”

I visited a doctor to check if all was well with my reproductive system. After an unnecessary surgery, I was found to be normal. I could not accept it. My thoughts were telling me otherwise especially since I could not explain why I had not taken in.

Shortly after the operation, I took in but had a miscarriage 3 months later. The voice reminded me that my womb was not capable of carrying children, hence the miscarriage. My depression increased.

To the outside world, I was a happy woman. But deep inside, I was in torment and turmoil. I could not trust God because I felt guilty. My husband did not seem bothered about my “sleepless nights”. He called me fruitful and told me God had long forgiven me of my sin. I could not believe him.

One day, we were on our way to work when I listened to a radio program “Focus on the family”. That day was featuring a woman who was
talking about the emotional trauma women go through after abortions. I could relate with that. And then she mentioned a story of a baby talking to God. Pardon me for paraphrasing here the conversation.

“Father, why didn’t my mummy keep me with her?” the baby asked.

“Because she couldn’t take care of you the way she wanted, and she wanted me to take care of you,” God replied.

“Why is my mummy always crying now about me?” the baby asked.

“Because she doesn’t know I have long forgiven her for sending you to Me.”

At that point, I didn’t know when I burst out in tears. It was a cry from the depths of my heart. It was so loud and sudden that my husband had to pack the car to find out what was wrong. I told him I was okay, that I needed to let something out. I had a very good cry that morning, and after that I felt relieved. I felt reassured and believed that God had truly forgiven me of my sin. I knew it was up to me to forgive myself. It was not long after this incident that I took in and gave birth to my beautiful princess who turned one a few days ago.

I do not know if you are carrying a burden of guilt, unforgiveness, self-condemnation or an unresolved issue. I want you to know God has forgiven you of your sin and is waiting for you to forgive yourself and resolve all unresolved issues. He says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest!” [Matthew 11:28, ISV]. Your sins He remembers no more. If you need to go into your prayer closest, have a sincere communication with Him, cry if you need to, and let go of any burden you are carrying, please do not hesitate to do so. His Arms are open wide to receive you.

Remain blessed.

It was Sunday morning. It had been a long while since I had been in church and I looked forward to the praise and worship session at the beginning of service. Prior to entering the bathroom, I checked the time. 10 minutes to 8!!! From history, I knew I would be late but if I hurried a bit, I could meet the praise and worship session I had missed. So I planned to hurry.

When it was time to brush my teeth, I realized that my toothbrush was no where to be found. I recalled that the previous night, my daughter and I had played with the toothbrush. Already pent up with the fact that I was going late, I did not have time to remember where I could have dropped it so looking for it was not in my agenda. Before me was my husband’s toothbrush. That begins my story…

“You can use his toothbrush, you are going late and you need to brush…” voice 1 said.

“You know if your husband finds out, he will not be pleased with you at all…” voice 2 said.

“He will never find out. Use it, wash it and keep it exactly where you picked it from. He will never guess…” voice 1 continued.

“Your husband trusts you. If he finds out, he will really be disappointed in you. You do not want to lose his trust…” voice 2 tried to persist.

“Your husband is very understanding. Even if he finds out, he will forgive you. Afterall, you can justify why you used it and you can get him a new one if he insisits…” voice 1 reminded me.

At this point, I was beginning to see reason why I could use his toothbrush. Then I thought. I was going to church. I teach in church and I teach children morals. I had told them often times that their character is who they are when no one is around. There I was trying to violate my teachings and principles. Again, using his toothbrush did not seem like a “big sin” but centred around it was disrespect, dishonesty, and it could even lead to lying and betrayal of trust. For me, that was some sort of trial/temptation. And I needed a way out.

I resolved to go and look for my toothbrush. But as I stepped out of the bathroom, on the table adjacent the bathroom door was a toothbrush I had used to travel recently. I must have dropped it on the table while unpacking. The moment I saw it, the words rang in my spirit, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” [1 Corinthians 10:13, NLT].

How awesome of God to find a way of escape. Somehow I felt reassured in my heart that should something bigger than such come my way, I can rely on God’s goodness and mercy because I know from experience how He provides a way out.

It could be any temptation or trial of any magnitude. But the word of God is true that “No temptation has you in its power but such as is common to human nature; and God is faithful and will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength. But, when the temptation comes, He will also provide the way of escape; so that you may be able to bear it…” [1 Cor 10:13 Weymouth New Testament]. Yes there is a way of escape just around the corner.

Remain blessed.

[By the way, I went late to church and missed the worship session...but I was glad I did not have any guilt hanging over my shoulder while the good news was being preached].

Usually when I prepare my lesson plan for the children in church, I ask, “God, how can I make it interesting for the kids?” But as I prepared the lesson plan on the story of the physical creation of man and woman [Gen: 2], I found myself asking, “God, what can I learn from this story?” God so kind, always ready to answer when we call, I heard the gentle voice saying, “Call it!”

“What?” I asked, wondering if I really heard something and wondering what ‘Call it’ had to do with forming man from the dust of the earth.

“Whatever you call it, that is what it will be!” was the response to my question.

All of a sudden, Genesis 2:19 spoke to me: “And out of the ground the Lord God formed every [wild] beast and living creature of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them; and whatever Adam called every living creature, that was its name…” That was when I got the understanding that by man being in the image of God, whatever he spoke would exist and whatever he called something, that would be its name.

Not only did I become quite cautious of my words, I realized that whatever I called anything, that is what that thing will be. Not only I have that ability. So do you!

As you enter the new year, speak concerning what you want to manifest physically. Whatever you call it, that will be its name. The protruding stomach is no longer fibroid…it is your baby. The pain is not a generational illness…you are the healed of the Lord. The letter is not a rejection letter…it is a job offer or even a promotion. Your children are not taken by the influence of peer pressure…they are children of destiny who will fulfill the purpose for which God created them. Your spouse is not the enemy…your spouse is blessed and is a gift from God.

It is time to speak, declare and reclaim what is truly yours. Whatever you call it, that is what it will be!

Thank God for His faithfulness in 2011. May 2012 bring good tidings, fulfillment and an added sense of the presence and love of God.

The story of the Shunammite woman whose son was restored to life speaks about the God you serve. You can find the full story at 2 Kings 4:8-37. The hospitality of the woman had been rewarded with a son – the deep, secret desire of her heart. Some years later, her son falls sick and dies. Consider for a moment how she could have felt. She could have said, “God why did you give me this child, make me feel joy for a fleeting moment, and leave me in great pain and sorrow?” Or it would be understandable if she said, “God you should have left me barren for the loss of a child is more painful than being named barren.” But no, she did not waste time on negative confessions or feel God was trying to punish her. The distressed but believing mother moved quickly to find the man of God; through him God had spoken the promise that fulfilled her heart’s desire and she resolved to plead her case with him, that he may lay it before God and obtain an answer of peace for her. As the story goes, God brought her son back to life through the miracle Elisha worked.

Your God and Father is the one whose blessing makes rich and has no sorrow added to it. The word that has gone out of His mouth concerning you shall not return to Him empty, but it will accomplish what He desires concerning you and achieve the purpose for which He sent it. As the year draws to an end, consider the blessings, both big and small, that made the year worthwhile. He has no plans abandoning you. You may have hoped for something this year that did not come to pass as planned. What appears to be like delay is not denial.

Did He give you a job? He can give you a promotion. Did you give you a spouse? He can fill your home with children. Did He save you from an accident? He is able to heal you. Did He embrace you during a heart break? He is able to give you a better person. Did He do something new in your life? He is able to open doors of opportunity for you. Did He keep you and preserve you? He is more than able to restore all that it seemed you may have lost. Did He give you a second chance?

I am certain of this, that God, who began a good work in you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. While He is working in you spiritually, the physical things will be falling in place. He who has started blessing you, will continue to do so, bringing His plans and purpose for you to the expected end.

Embrace the new year with expectations. It has much more for you than you can imagine. He that promised is faithful.

Machmaking- most of us do it without knowing. As I mused over a recent matchmaking that was making me excited, I was made to imagine what could have been going on in Naomi’s mind when she advised Ruth. She knew Boaz was a close relative (Ruth 2:20b) and a kinsman-redeemer. The idea of a kinsman redeemer in Old Testament times was to help someone in poverty who was unable to redeem their inheritance and redeem his relatives from slavery. The kinsman redeemer could also preserve the family line of a deceased male relative by marrying his widow and providing an heir (Deut. 25:5-6).

I am thinking that Naomi would have been wishing for Ruth to be compensated for her loyalty. I am sure Naomi would have observed a few things during the 2 months Ruth spent gleaning Boaz’s field. I can imagine that every day Ruth returned from the field, she would have told Naomi something about how well she was treated or the kind of favor she received from Boaz. I am sure Naomi would have desired the best for Ruth, and would have put in some effort to see the relationship between Boaz and Ruth take another level.

Matchmaking has been around for some time and has taken many forms. But for this purpose of this post, matchmaking refers to introducing people for marriage based on personal knowledge of the people hence resulting in recommendations. We see it when a mother says her best friend’s son is good for her daughter. Or a man thinks his wife’s sister will suit his friend. Such matchmaking requires close relationship and good understanding of the persons before the recommendation is made.

Is matchmaking successful? While I do not have any statistics, I have seen some marriages from recommendations that have worked very well. I have also seen some that did not work out quite well. Some of the points I would like to draw out of Naomi and Ruth’s experience with regards matchmaking include:-

1.       Do you trust the person? Feel free to consider recommendations from someone you know well or trust. Such a person could be your parent, your pastor, you sibling or a very close friend.

2.       Do you trust the person’s judgment? What are the matchmaker’s values and priorities? Are they in line with yours, or better still does the matchmaker have better values of what is required for a successful marriage? Does the person know what you want? For instance, if your mother tells you it is not important for you to marry a “brother” after you have agreed with God that your priority for a husband is a god-fearing man, then you may not want to consider her suggestion even though you love, trust and respect her.

3.       What is the matchmaker’s motive? Some parents matchmake because they are under pressure to see their children get married. Some others are thinking of what they can get from the marriage. With Naomi, we see that she valued Ruth’s loyalty and had Ruth’s best interest at heart [Ruth 3:1]. Her motives were not selfish.

4.       Has the matchmaker done his/her own research? The matchmaker should also know very well the other person in order to make effective recommendations. Naomi had an understanding of how best Boaz could be approach and his likely response. Hence when she advised Ruth and Ruth obeyed, things went as planned.

5.       Is your matchmaker praying for you? He/she does not have to tell you they are praying for you to know. You will feel it in their words and actions towards you.

What are your thoughts on matchmaking? What are your thoughts on the other methods of matchmaking such as online dating, etc? Do share.

All in all, you know what you want in a person. No matter the recommendations, even if you owe the person a favor, when it comes to marriage, take your time to study the person recommended for you. If the person does not fit what you really want in a partner, feel free to stop the relationship at a stage that will not bring hurt to either parties.