The abortions had occurred when I was not a Christian so I never gave it much thought. But when I had given my life to Christ, I realized how grave my actions were. Born or unborn, it was a life like mine I had taken.

I had confessed this sin to God and asked for forgiveness. I buried the matter and moved on with my life. Then I got married. After the first year and I did not take in, my mind went back to the abortions. Probably the last one destroyed my womb, I thought. Or maybe God was finally punishing me for my sins. I began to meditate on such thoughts, which filled me with depression and guilt. Every month when Aunty Flo visited, I heard the tormenting voice say, “You’ve killed all the children you could ever have. They will not allow you have other children!”

I visited a doctor to check if all was well with my reproductive system. After an unnecessary surgery, I was found to be normal. I could not accept it. My thoughts were telling me otherwise especially since I could not explain why I had not taken in.

Shortly after the operation, I took in but had a miscarriage 3 months later. The voice reminded me that my womb was not capable of carrying children, hence the miscarriage. My depression increased.

To the outside world, I was a happy woman. But deep inside, I was in torment and turmoil. I could not trust God because I felt guilty. My husband did not seem bothered about my “sleepless nights”. He called me fruitful and told me God had long forgiven me of my sin. I could not believe him.

One day, we were on our way to work when I listened to a radio program “Focus on the family”. That day was featuring a woman who was
talking about the emotional trauma women go through after abortions. I could relate with that. And then she mentioned a story of a baby talking to God. Pardon me for paraphrasing here the conversation.

“Father, why didn’t my mummy keep me with her?” the baby asked.

“Because she couldn’t take care of you the way she wanted, and she wanted me to take care of you,” God replied.

“Why is my mummy always crying now about me?” the baby asked.

“Because she doesn’t know I have long forgiven her for sending you to Me.”

At that point, I didn’t know when I burst out in tears. It was a cry from the depths of my heart. It was so loud and sudden that my husband had to pack the car to find out what was wrong. I told him I was okay, that I needed to let something out. I had a very good cry that morning, and after that I felt relieved. I felt reassured and believed that God had truly forgiven me of my sin. I knew it was up to me to forgive myself. It was not long after this incident that I took in and gave birth to my beautiful princess who turned one a few days ago.

I do not know if you are carrying a burden of guilt, unforgiveness, self-condemnation or an unresolved issue. I want you to know God has forgiven you of your sin and is waiting for you to forgive yourself and resolve all unresolved issues. He says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest!” [Matthew 11:28, ISV]. Your sins He remembers no more. If you need to go into your prayer closest, have a sincere communication with Him, cry if you need to, and let go of any burden you are carrying, please do not hesitate to do so. His Arms are open wide to receive you.

Remain blessed.

Usually when I prepare my lesson plan for the children in church, I ask, “God, how can I make it interesting for the kids?” But as I prepared the lesson plan on the story of the physical creation of man and woman [Gen: 2], I found myself asking, “God, what can I learn from this story?” God so kind, always ready to answer when we call, I heard the gentle voice saying, “Call it!”

“What?” I asked, wondering if I really heard something and wondering what ‘Call it’ had to do with forming man from the dust of the earth.

“Whatever you call it, that is what it will be!” was the response to my question.

All of a sudden, Genesis 2:19 spoke to me: “And out of the ground the Lord God formed every [wild] beast and living creature of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them; and whatever Adam called every living creature, that was its name…” That was when I got the understanding that by man being in the image of God, whatever he spoke would exist and whatever he called something, that would be its name.

Not only did I become quite cautious of my words, I realized that whatever I called anything, that is what that thing will be. Not only I have that ability. So do you!

As you enter the new year, speak concerning what you want to manifest physically. Whatever you call it, that will be its name. The protruding stomach is no longer fibroid…it is your baby. The pain is not a generational illness…you are the healed of the Lord. The letter is not a rejection letter…it is a job offer or even a promotion. Your children are not taken by the influence of peer pressure…they are children of destiny who will fulfill the purpose for which God created them. Your spouse is not the enemy…your spouse is blessed and is a gift from God.

It is time to speak, declare and reclaim what is truly yours. Whatever you call it, that is what it will be!

Thank God for His faithfulness in 2011. May 2012 bring good tidings, fulfillment and an added sense of the presence and love of God.

The story of the Shunammite woman whose son was restored to life speaks about the God you serve. You can find the full story at 2 Kings 4:8-37. The hospitality of the woman had been rewarded with a son – the deep, secret desire of her heart. Some years later, her son falls sick and dies. Consider for a moment how she could have felt. She could have said, “God why did you give me this child, make me feel joy for a fleeting moment, and leave me in great pain and sorrow?” Or it would be understandable if she said, “God you should have left me barren for the loss of a child is more painful than being named barren.” But no, she did not waste time on negative confessions or feel God was trying to punish her. The distressed but believing mother moved quickly to find the man of God; through him God had spoken the promise that fulfilled her heart’s desire and she resolved to plead her case with him, that he may lay it before God and obtain an answer of peace for her. As the story goes, God brought her son back to life through the miracle Elisha worked.

Your God and Father is the one whose blessing makes rich and has no sorrow added to it. The word that has gone out of His mouth concerning you shall not return to Him empty, but it will accomplish what He desires concerning you and achieve the purpose for which He sent it. As the year draws to an end, consider the blessings, both big and small, that made the year worthwhile. He has no plans abandoning you. You may have hoped for something this year that did not come to pass as planned. What appears to be like delay is not denial.

Did He give you a job? He can give you a promotion. Did you give you a spouse? He can fill your home with children. Did He save you from an accident? He is able to heal you. Did He embrace you during a heart break? He is able to give you a better person. Did He do something new in your life? He is able to open doors of opportunity for you. Did He keep you and preserve you? He is more than able to restore all that it seemed you may have lost. Did He give you a second chance?

I am certain of this, that God, who began a good work in you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. While He is working in you spiritually, the physical things will be falling in place. He who has started blessing you, will continue to do so, bringing His plans and purpose for you to the expected end.

Embrace the new year with expectations. It has much more for you than you can imagine. He that promised is faithful.

For Meditation: so that your faith would not be based on human wisdom but on God’s power [1 Corinthians 2:5, GWT].

While I was struggling with infertility, I was of the opinion that if I go to a doctor, I had failed as a Christian. I felt it meant I was no longer in faith and I did not believe the word of God could work. I was delivered of this belief during a period at my workplace. I had been trained specially to interpret data from a tool my company runs. I had a client who knew how to interpret the data from a competitor’s tool and assumed that he knew how to interpret that from the tool I was trained for. One day when my company’s tool was being run, my client had challenges in interpreting the data and making right decisions. He had to call on me to help him understand the information from the tool. It was only after he sought my opinion that he made progress. As I pondered on this, I realized my client was not less of a Christian by asking for my help. He had only contacted someone who was an ‘expert’ in that area.

To every man is given a measure of faith.  God knows our level of faith. If you are at the point where you are standing on the word of God, and you believe that you do not need the help of doctors, God knows. He will meet you at your point of faith. If your faith level is such that you need intervention from doctors, it does not make you less of a Christian. You can move from one level of faith to the other. Your faith does not have to be at a particular level before God answers your prayers. God gave doctors the intelligence and the ability to carry out their jobs. God gave men knowledge to make drugs. What will not be pleasing to God, and may lead to our being disappointed, is when we depend on ‘a doctor’ or ‘a drug’ to help our situation. The bible tells us that our faith should not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God [1 Corinthians 2:5]. You can go to a doctor, but trust the miracle to come from God. You can take some drugs or go for surgery but trust the healing and perfection to come from God. Let your faith rest in the power of God.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track [Proverbs 3:5, MSG]. He will direct you to the right doctor, hospital, or people who can give you help and comfort as you wait on Him for your bundle of joy.

Remember that God has dealt with several cases of infertility and there are several women today who are living testimonies of what God can do. He makes the barren woman to keep house and be a joyful mother of children [Psalm 113:9]. God is walking this journey with you and will make you dwell in your house and be a joyful mother of children. He that promised is faithful.

For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power (making it active, operative, energizing, and effective)  Hebrews 4:12a, AMP.

TO PRAY: A Prayer for those waiting on God for the fruit of the womb

If you are interested in joining a group of ladies who pray twice a week (Tuesdays and Thursdays), please send me a mail at rita@eroinspirations.com. I will give you details of how you can be part of this.

Please visit the website monthly to see more articles from the Hannah’s Joy Ministry.

For Meditation: Stand firm then…Take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God [Ephesians 6:14&17, NIV].

While waiting on God for the fruit of the womb, you may be bombarded with thoughts that could make you depressed, doubt the efficacy of God’s word, or make you begin to confess negative words. Such can disarm you and ‘throw you down’ spiritually hence the bible teaches us to stand firm, armed with the full amour of God [Ephesians 6:11-17].

The Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, is a powerful spiritual weapon you can use both offensively and defensively. In trying to disarm you, the enemy will often try to convince you that a particular portion of scripture is not true or relevant for today. You use the Sword of the Spirit offensively when you hide God’s Word in your heart, root out sin, and strengthen your inner man with God’s promises before the enemy attacks. You use the Sword of the Spirit defensively by deflecting the devil’s lies, doubts, and temptations with the truth of the Word.

You can never have too much of the word of God. Let us arm ourselves with the Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. There are several books and articles that have the promises of God concerning the fruit of the womb and children. I will share a few here. I encourage you to make out time for God’s word, plant the Seed in your heart by confessing them often, and let them be a real and living part of you.

• THE SPOKEN WORD JUST FOR YOU (Article by Pastor Nkechi Ene (Mrs))
• SUPERNATURAL CHILDBIRTH (Book by Jackie Mize)
• YOU SHALL NOT BE BARREN (Book by  David O. Oyedepo)

Remember that God has dealt with several cases of infertility and there are several women today who are living testimonies of what God can do. He makes the barren woman to keep house and be a joyful mother of children [Psalm 113:9]. God is walking this journey with you and will make you dwell in your house and be a joyful mother of children. He that promised is faithful.

For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power (making it active, operative, energizing, and effective)  Hebrews 4:12a, AMP.

TO PRAY: My Loving Father, thank You for Your word that is living, powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword. I thank You because You have made Your word available to me as both an offensive and defensive weapon for spiritual battle.  I am sorry for times I may have doubted You or taken Your word for granted. I pray for a renewed commitment to Your word – to spend time reading, memorizing and meditating on Your word. May Your word always remain hidden in my heart that I may not buckle under the lies and deception of the enemy. In Jesus Name, Amen.

If you are interested in joining a group of ladies who pray twice a week (Tuesdays and Thursdays), please send me a mail at rita@eroinspirations.com. I will give you details of how you can be part of this.

Please visit the website monthly to see more articles from the Hannah’s Joy Ministry.