Machmaking- most of us do it without knowing. As I mused over a recent matchmaking that was making me excited, I was made to imagine what could have been going on in Naomi’s mind when she advised Ruth. She knew Boaz was a close relative (Ruth 2:20b) and a kinsman-redeemer. The idea of a kinsman redeemer in Old Testament times was to help someone in poverty who was unable to redeem their inheritance and redeem his relatives from slavery. The kinsman redeemer could also preserve the family line of a deceased male relative by marrying his widow and providing an heir (Deut. 25:5-6).

I am thinking that Naomi would have been wishing for Ruth to be compensated for her loyalty. I am sure Naomi would have observed a few things during the 2 months Ruth spent gleaning Boaz’s field. I can imagine that every day Ruth returned from the field, she would have told Naomi something about how well she was treated or the kind of favor she received from Boaz. I am sure Naomi would have desired the best for Ruth, and would have put in some effort to see the relationship between Boaz and Ruth take another level.

Matchmaking has been around for some time and has taken many forms. But for this purpose of this post, matchmaking refers to introducing people for marriage based on personal knowledge of the people hence resulting in recommendations. We see it when a mother says her best friend’s son is good for her daughter. Or a man thinks his wife’s sister will suit his friend. Such matchmaking requires close relationship and good understanding of the persons before the recommendation is made.

Is matchmaking successful? While I do not have any statistics, I have seen some marriages from recommendations that have worked very well. I have also seen some that did not work out quite well. Some of the points I would like to draw out of Naomi and Ruth’s experience with regards matchmaking include:-

1.       Do you trust the person? Feel free to consider recommendations from someone you know well or trust. Such a person could be your parent, your pastor, you sibling or a very close friend.

2.       Do you trust the person’s judgment? What are the matchmaker’s values and priorities? Are they in line with yours, or better still does the matchmaker have better values of what is required for a successful marriage? Does the person know what you want? For instance, if your mother tells you it is not important for you to marry a “brother” after you have agreed with God that your priority for a husband is a god-fearing man, then you may not want to consider her suggestion even though you love, trust and respect her.

3.       What is the matchmaker’s motive? Some parents matchmake because they are under pressure to see their children get married. Some others are thinking of what they can get from the marriage. With Naomi, we see that she valued Ruth’s loyalty and had Ruth’s best interest at heart [Ruth 3:1]. Her motives were not selfish.

4.       Has the matchmaker done his/her own research? The matchmaker should also know very well the other person in order to make effective recommendations. Naomi had an understanding of how best Boaz could be approach and his likely response. Hence when she advised Ruth and Ruth obeyed, things went as planned.

5.       Is your matchmaker praying for you? He/she does not have to tell you they are praying for you to know. You will feel it in their words and actions towards you.

What are your thoughts on matchmaking? What are your thoughts on the other methods of matchmaking such as online dating, etc? Do share.

All in all, you know what you want in a person. No matter the recommendations, even if you owe the person a favor, when it comes to marriage, take your time to study the person recommended for you. If the person does not fit what you really want in a partner, feel free to stop the relationship at a stage that will not bring hurt to either parties.

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